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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:07
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If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
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I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
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Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
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The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
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Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
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Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
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I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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